.............What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times,...some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take. Then he starts moving more fingers into my mouth making me stretch my lips over his fingers. He forces me to look at him as he humiliates me like this, his other hand behind my head pulling me onto his hand. It all makes me feel so small and weak. Finally he pulls his hand out, wiping the slobber over my cheeks.'OK faggot, you get your wish. I'm going to let you eat my ass but if I feel like you aren't really trying or just no good at it, there will be consequences.'He moves to the bed getting. Bring your mother and me some clothes, and please hurry.I was scared for my folks, but I was laughing my ass off as I swam to the other bank where my clothes were and my horse. I was thinking it was too bad they didn’t have to walk like Bill and I did.This next part I learned from my mother when she and I had a special talk with part of that talk is in this next part also.Earlier that day my parents had left the ranch and went up on the nob overlooking the ranch. Mom had taken a blanket with. She had read a lot more of her mother’s diary. It turned out that Nancy’s mom had some competition for her dad. It was Lilian’s mom but she suddenly went for Lilian’s dad when he moved into the city. That left her mother with her father. It was obvious from her diary that she wasn’t going to let him change his mind about her as a real woman.Soon her mother’s notes related how her father was making love to her as often as they could. Yes, she became pregnant and he married her. Her dad had gone.
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